


This is Sanders Sides, Not Best Friend Sides

by iamavacado



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders - Freeform, Creation of Virgil, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders - Freeform, Gen, I may not continue this I may not, Thomas is in middle school, self doubt, that's where his anxiety is created
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-04 23:12:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14030931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamavacado/pseuds/iamavacado
Summary: Somehow, Virgil is born. He's the embodiment of Thomas' anxiety, and he has to act like it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure why I thought of this, but as a new fan, I had to dabble in the angst. It's like, required to be a fander, right?

He wasn't really aware of the fact that he didn't remember anything before this very moment. One second, he was a swirling cloud of smoke hanging above someone's head. The next, he was in a bedroom that he determined to be his, but had no memory of being inside of prior to now. He felt lightheaded, and had to fall back on his bed to catch his breath. He never knew where he came from. All he knew was that he suddenly _was._

He closed his eyes to regain his composure. Deep breath in and deep breath out. When he was steady, he stood up again and opened his eyes. But when he did so, he wasn't in his bedroom.

He...wasn't sure where he was. There was a murky dark around him, and at his immediate front was what almost looked like a screen set up in first person point of view. A name popped into his head. Thomas. This was what Thomas was seeing. And what Thomas was doing was looking at a boy across the lunch room, sitting by himself, nursing a bowl of soup. 

Despite barely even knowing where he was, alarm bells went off in his head that told him to _stop staring._

Thomas looked down at his lunch tray.

Wait. Did Thomas just do that because he told him to? He told himself to stop staring, but did Thomas hear?

He saw that Thomas' shirt was wrinkled, and he randomly thought to himself that _oh my god, they're all going to think you're a bum. Fix your shirt._

Thomas straightened his shirt.

So, he thought, Thomas _could_ hear him. So what did that mean, he was in Thomas' head? Another name popped into his head, along with a title. Virgil: Anxiety.

Who was that? Was that--

_Eat some food. Act like you're doing something worthwhile other than just sitting here sulking._

Thomas took a bite of his stale sandwich.

Suddenly, he understood. The name and title was for _him. He_ was Virgil. He was anxiety. He was... Thomas' anxiety.

A voice from behind Virgil startled him. "What are you doing? Go talk to him!"

Anxiety whirled around and saw a man walking up to him. He was in some kind of prince garb, speed walking up to the makeshift screen with a confused, eager face. He didn't seem to notice Virgil. At least, not until he ran face first into him. They collided with an awkward thump, which knocked them both off their feet. Virgil stumbled backward, trying to regain his balance. The prince guy did the same, rubbing his head at the blow. He looked at Virgil as if it were _his_ fault.

"Can I ask who you are?" he proposed. His voice was snarky, and for some reason it made Virgil want to shrink into himself.

He was tempted to answer, but he didn't quite trust this guy with his name. He stalled for time as his attention was turned back toward the screen. "I'm...uh..." He saw that Thomas had risen from his seat, and was walking toward the boy he was looking at moments before. Virgil's eyes widened, and his heart rate picked up and started to beat wildly.

"What are you doing!?" he yelled into the air. "You'll make a fool of yourself! Go back to your seat!"

Thomas stopped in his tracks, too scared to say anything. He was still several yards away. No one had noticed that he'd gotten up. He could still save this.

"Go sit down!" Virgil commanded.

Thomas started back to his seat, but stopped again when the prince guy decided to butt in.

"Excuse me!" he said, stepping forward, "why are you listening to them? They have no control over you. Go talk to him Thomas! For all you know, he has a crush on you too."

Virgil spun on him. "Are you crazy? He'd never have a crush on Thomas. That's ridiculous to even think!"

Prince guy looked away from the screen and raised a mom-like hand. "Oh really? And how would you know?"

"Because!" He grasped for the words. "I just...I know, okay? And who are you to say otherwise?"

"I am Prince Roman, I've been here since Thomas was three, and I should ask you the same thing, Man in Black. How did you even get here?"

Virgil looked Roman up and down. Yeah. He definitely looked like a Roman. "I just showed up. It's not like I asked to be here. But he should listen to me anyway. It seems like I'm the only one of us with common sense."

He looked towards the screen again. Thomas hadn't moved. No one had still noticed, but if he kept standing like a statue, someone would. Virgil yelled at him, "Sit down!"

Thomas turned around and started back to his seat.

Roman held up a hand. "No, Thomas, don't sit down!" Thomas turned around. He didn't move. Roman was once again on Virgil. "You don't know anything about him, so therefore you have no authority to tell him what to do or how to think."

"I know plenty about Thomas!" 

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

For some reason, Virgil felt especially cruel. "For one, I know that the last time he talked to that particular boy, he got so tongue tied that he forgot his own name." Roman was about to say something, but stopped. His face started to go red. "I know that every time he tries to do sports, that he fumbles and falls in front of the whole school, and if you would stop putting the word 'Athlete', in his head, he wouldn't even be there to start with." With every step forward, Roman took a step back. "I know that he's a clumsy, unfunny, over thinking, perfectionist mess, and half the things he embarrassed himself over wouldn't even be happening if it weren't for _you."_ He poked Roman in the chest. "He could get the same amount of work done without all the humiliation if you weren't in the picture."

Virgil didn't know how he knew all this about Thomas, but they spilled out of his mouth before his brain even processed the information. Even so, a part of him felt bad for saying it. Like, he knew it was wrong, but he was too stubborn to admit it. He was breathing heavy and lightheaded by the end of his rant.

They both looked at the screen. Thomas was crying, silently, in the middle of the lunch room. A dozen heads turned his way when he dared to choke out a sob. Even the boy he'd been looking at.

"You've done it now," Virgil said to Thomas. He ran closer to the screen. "Get out of here. People are looking at you get _OUT_ of there!"

Thomas turned on his heel and sprinted out of the lunch room and into the bathroom.

That was the day Thomas had his first anxiety attack.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil and Logan have an encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter but oh well

After the first disastrous encounter, Virgil decided to hide out in his room for a few days. They didn't seem to enjoy his company, and he felt they were better off without him anyway. He had also met everyone that encompassed the "they" he spoke of. He learned that Roman was Thomas' most fanciful, theatric, creative side. All his wishes, dreams, and passions were within Roman. Along with a little narcissism. 

A second side was Patton, who he actually didn't mind, but still didn't want to bother. Patton was basically Thomas' heart. His childishness, his morality, and all his emotionally charged thoughts resided there. Patton was nice enough to Anxiety, but when he saw that Thomas was crying, Virgil could see he'd made Patton sad. 

The last side was Logan. Thomas' mind. He was more grounded than the other two, with all his big words and logic. And quite possibly the second most annoying. He knew he was smarter than everyone else and he showed it. He most definitely hated Anxiety. At least, that's how Virgil perceived it.

Not one of them really seemed to like him, so he went to his room. They were definitely better off without him.

But, for some reason, he felt himself growing more uncomfortable with every passing second he locked himself away. Several times, he found himself walking up toward his door in the middle of the night, unable to sleep. He'd grab the knob, then stop and force himself back into bed to toss and turn till morning. A little, insistent voice kept knocking around in his brain. It kept saying, _You have a job to do._

Virgil sighed, and folded a pillow over his ears for a minute before giving up and staring at his ceiling. It felt like some annoying kid pulling at his jacket, persistent of and completely oblivious to their own annoying-ness. Despite his own protests, Virgil got up. He went to the door, took a deep breath, and walked through it into Thomas' head.  
***

As expected, the reception was not ideal. Not expected, however, was who exactly was there. It wasn't Roman, thank God. It was Logan. He had caught Thomas in the middle of a test, and Logic was staring intently at the screen at a particularly difficult algebra problem. The numbers were completely jumbled to Virgil. He didn't get it at all despite standing there silently deciphering for a few minutes. 

He crossed his arms, and dared to step forward. "Skip this one," he said.

Logan jumped, and when he saw it was Anxiety, he rolled his eyes, then said, "What are you doing here? This is a test, not an audition."

"It's my job," Virgil replied tersely. "Thomas doesn't get this one. Skip it and do the next one."

Logan gestured to the screen. "The whole section is filled with similar problems."

"Then skip the section."

Thomas turned the page, leaving the previous section blank. Logan stared open mouthed at the screen for a moment before looking at Virgil.

"That," he said slowly, "was half the test. That was half the test. If he doesn't do that section, he automatically fails this test."

Virgil shrugged. "He didn't know it anyway."

"But he studied! I was there for that!"

"Oh, really? Are you sure that Pat and Roman didn't drown you out because Thomas wanted to watch the Dear Evan Hansen bootleg again?"

Logan started to say something with a finger in the air, but he couldn't come up with anything. His finger fell with his face, and he frowned deeply. He sighed. "I hate it, but you're right."

"For once," mumbled Virgil.

They turned back to the screen. Thomas had diverted all his attention from his test and began to doodle on his paper. Logan snapped him back to attention. Quite literally too, because he snapped his fingers, and Thomas stopped.

Virgil started to shift his weight from one foot to the other, pacing. He also started to bite his nails, even through the nail polish, which he put on to prevent that very habit. "He's almost out of time."

Logan looked as if he was tempted to bite his nails too. "Thomas, do these problems quickly. You know this section. Do it fast and then--" he shot a look at Virgil when he said this next part-- "go back to the other section and answer what you can."

Virgil rolled his eyes. He realized he was was biting his nails, and shoved his hands in his jacket pockets. Instead, he opted for biting his lip. "He doesn't know it," he said. His voice was a bit indignant. 

"He does," replied Logan, not bothering to look back at him. He was tracing problems in the air with his finger. His voice trailed off. "He does know it..."

By the end of the class period, it was evident that Thomas definitely did not know it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment bruh

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment!!!!!


End file.
